Alpha Females
Alpha females comprise 40 percent of the female population and 20 percent of the total population. They may have been tomboys when they were younger. They may be a movers and shakers in the business world, or successful professionals or executives. They may be in careers that were traditionally male-dominated, such as a firefighting or aviation. They may own your own businesses or trades, such as being successful painters or construction company owners .
.“Alpha” designates “the first” and we first started designating this to the leaders of animal packs, such as wolves. Many wolf packs have both an alpha female and an alpha male. The alpha male or the alpha female is usually the strongest and the bravest, the leader of the pack. They possess such attributes as dominance, confidence, and a take-charge attitude. They have a high level of self-directedness, as they doggedly go about their goals. They can be aggressive, competitive high achievers, with a strong sense of mission. They can be bold, creative innovative thinkers. Often highly successful in the world, their traits of persistence, tenacity, determination and steadfastness help them to achieve their goals. In the business setting, they will often do less damage than their alpha male counterparts, because one of their means of success is to tend and befriend other alphas, especially other alpha females. They often run in packs with other alpha females, and the male who offends one member of the alpha female pack is going to have to deal with many members of the pack.
They can be trained not to let others take advantage of them, and if others should try, they are trained to hurt them in such a way that they will think twice before they ever try to do that again. They don’t blink first in a stare-down. They are trained to compete, and to win.
On top of it all, they are also often blessed with high levels of charisma, which they can use to charm others into agreeing with them. They are often good at persuasion, sometimes arguing with others until they either agree with them or shut up. When persuasion doesn’t work, they also know how to intimidate, subtly or directly.
In the past, they may have had to hide their alpha traits. As children they may have been labeled “boyish” or “unladylike” or “aggressive” or “uppity” or “inappropriate”. As they got older, when they exercised these traits, they may have been labeled as a “bitch.” In some cases, it was socially, or even physically dangerous to show their competitive, powerful alpha female selves. They may have had to develop slyer ways of meeting their goals, such as manipulating others, or withholding information. Or they may have learned to be mean, or actually be bitchy. The younger ones are now entering the executive, professional and political world, and don’t have to hide their alpha nature as much.
They are born with these traits because at their best, nature created them to protect and provide for their families and communities. Genetically, their traits prepare them well for survival, for themselves and for those they love.
They may now get involved with their career in a world that limits their success less than it did. Then, at midlife, they may find themselves unhappy, with a nagging sense that something is missing in their life. They may realize that they got so busy that they forgot to cultivate intimate relationships or start a family. They may have considered relationships outside of work bothersome or impractical. Yet they miss something in their life. They may be overworking, or toying with overuse of alcohol or even drugs. They may feel a subtle or blatant emptiness when they slow down long enough from pursuing their goals. They may review a series of failed intimate relationships. They look at other couples; they look with new longing at babies. Some of the other couples look happy, and they wonder how they do it. Other couples look bored with each other but stay married for the convenience. They aren’t sure they want that. They look into the future, and consider the possibility that they might die lonely and alone, or perhaps surrounded by admirers, but still basically alone.
If they are in a relationship, or married, their families may experience them as critical or driven. If they balance career and relationship, especially if children are not involved, career may come first. They may find themselves quick-tempered and impatient, with little time for discussion of differences with their mates. If they are partnered with a beta, their mate may consider them overbearing and bossy. If their partner is another alpha, they may find themselves either in constant fights, or in cool, aloof, distance, or subdued themselves.
Either without a partner or family, or in an unhappy relationship or marriage, they may begin to consider that maybe, just maybe, the problem may have something to do with themselves, even though they hate to admit it. Still, they may not have a clue what the problem is. And they don’t like that. After all, they are alpha females; they are accustomed to identifying problems and solving them. They are good at that.
Winning at Love offers a clear analysis of the problem and step-by-step approaches for addressing the problems. They will have to practice, and they are capable of that. After all, they have learned and practiced skills in becoming successful in their business, profession or trade. They have practiced skills to improve their golf game, or skiing, or walking briskly in high heels. They can practice skills that will allow them to have a loving partnership. They are up to it. After all, it’s in their nature.
While the title pitches the book to alpha males, it is also useful for alpha females, and those who are married to or partnered with them.
Want to learn more about alpha females? Get your copy of Winning at Love today!
