Alpha Male Relationship
The alpha male relationship may be as beautiful, powerful and flashy as the alpha male himself. The alpha male relationship may begin in the executive board room with an alpha female who is as sharp and gutsy as he is. It may start when the alpha male meets the most beautiful and/or powerful woman at a party or when he begins to have an affair with his loyal, efficient attractive secretary. It is often furthered as the alpha male uses his high standards and impeccable style to arrange romantic trips to beautiful, exotic and often expensive settings. If not beautiful exotic settings, it may take place around events of daring in which he is either a participant or an observer. The object of his romance will either join him in competition or be there as a loyal helpmate. In any event, she is likely to be beautiful, because the alpha wants make heads turn, to be with a winner, or with someone who will support his high status in any group.
“Alpha” designates “the first” and we first started designating this to the leaders of animal packs, such as wolves. Approximately 40% of all males are alpha. The alpha male is usually the strongest and the bravest, the leader of the pack. The alpha male possesses such attributes as dominance, confidence, and a take-charge attitude. The alpha male has a high level of self-directedness, as he doggedly goes about his goals. The alpha male is an aggressive, competitive high achiever, with a strong sense of mission. The alpha male can be a bold, creative innovative thinker. Often highly successful in the world, the alpha male’s traits of persistence, tenacity, determination and steadfastness help him to achieve his goals. The alpha male pursues the woman of his choice with the same determination. Some alphas will be turned on if she is elusive and hard-to-get. For them, her elusiveness is a mating call to begin the challenging game of pursuit. Other alpha males will respond to her elusiveness with dismissal. They may think something like, “Fuck her! There are other fish in the sea!” Because he believes that he is quite a catch, he may be disdainful of her elusiveness.
He is the board room executive, and the successful professional, such as a doctor or lawyer or university professor. He is the firefighter, soldier, policeman and successful tradesman. Genetically, his traits prepare him well for survival, for himself and for those he loves.
Unfortunately, these relationships may be many and short-lived. The very traits that make alpha males successful in the outside world can often ruin a relationship. The alpha male can be short with his partner, not wanting to take the time to listen to her point of view, because in his opinion there is no doubt that he is right. The alpha male can be intimidating, causing his partner to fear him or to leave the relationship because she chooses not to be intimidated. Relationships may begin with considerable charm to entice the partner of his choice to go out with him. Later in the relationship, the charm that was so appealing serves a less appealing purpose. He doesn’t like disagreement, and he will often charm or intimidate his partner when she disagrees with him. He often competes, or issues commands, instead of working in teamwork with his spouse or mate. He can work himself and his family to the point of exhaustion. When he gets impatient; he can be critical. He may practice the Secret Agent version of alpha male, having an affair, or several, on the side, or withholding information about his side of mutual financial decisions.
Often at midlife, he finds himself unhappy, with a nagging sense that something is missing in his life. His relationships have not brought him the partnership or marriage of his dreams. He may be overworking, or toying with overuse of alcohol or even drugs. He feels a subtle or blatant emptiness when he slows down long enough from pursuing his goals. At that point, the alpha male may review a series of failed relationships in his life. He looks at couples he knows. Some of them look happy, and he wonders how they do it. Other couples look bored with each other but stay married for the convenience. He isn’t sure he wants that. On the other hand, the alpha male considers the possibility that he might die lonely and alone, or perhaps surrounded by sycophants. He begins to consider that maybe, just maybe, the problem may have something to do with him, even though he hates to admit it. Still, he may not have a clue what the problem is. And he doesn’t like that. After all, he is accustomed to identifying problems and solving them. The alpha male is good at that.
Alpha male relationships don’t have to be frequent short-lived ones or long-lived boring ones. They can be filled with the same confidence, competence and success that the alpha male experiences in the world of business, profession or trade. Winning at Love offers a clear analysis of the problem and step-by-step approaches for addressing the problems the alpha male encounters in a relationship. If you are an alpha male, you will have to practice, and you are capable of that. After all, as an alpha male, you have practiced skills in becoming successful in your business, profession or trade. You have practiced skills to improve your golf game, or fly fishing, or skiing. No reason you can’t practice skills that will allow you to have a loving partnership. You’re up to it. After all, you are an alpha. Your relationship can be a long-lasting one in which you can feel competent, confident, stimulated and content for the rest of your life. Now, that’s better than dying alone and lonely, yes?
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