Men in Relationships
Until recently, very little is written about men in relationships. Books on this topic assume that women and men bring the same strengths, assets and liabilities to a relationship that women do. This isn’t so. Information from the field of neurophysiology now informs us that first of all, men are neurphysiologically hard-wired differently than women. They are also socialized to be different than women, and in our culture a part of this social education is abusive, though it has been called “normal”. We also live in a culture in which both women and men are rewarded for being alpha and in which being otherwise is thought to be second-rate.The book, Winning at Love is unique in that it addresses problems specific to men in relationships and specific to those relationships in which one or both partners are alpha. What is alpha?
Alpha designates “the first” and we first started designating this to the leaders of animal packs, such as wolves. Approximately 40% of all males and females are alphas. The alpha is usually the strongest and the bravest, the leader of the pack. They possess such attributes as dominance, confidence, and a take-charge attitude. The alpha has a high level of self-directedness, as they doggedly go about their goals. Alphas are usually aggressive, competitive high achievers, with a strong sense of mission and can be bold, creative innovative thinkers. Often highly successful in the world, the alpha’s traits of persistence, tenacity, determination and steadfastness help them to achieve their goals.
However, when it comes to building healthy relationships, the very traits that make alpha men successful in the world can strongly contribute to sabotaging the relationship. Even if eighty percent of what an alpha does is really good for the relationship, the twenty percent that he or she does out of their alpha attitude and behavior is enough to blow up the relationship. Alpha men in relationship often put their profession or career ahead of their intimate relationship, they can expect of others the same high standards that they expect of themselves, they can impose their driven nature onto others and they can come across as critical and opinionated. They assume that building healthy relationships should happen with no effort, or without their contribution to change. They expect their partner to do all the changing.
Alpha men in relationships often don’t realize that part of building healthy relationships has to do with addressing the problems particular to their being an alpha. While this is a good handbook for every couple, it is unique in that it also addresses problems specific to relationships in which one or both members are alpha.
This book is written in easy-to-understand language that is entertaining and at times humorous; it avoids mental health clichés, professional jargon and dense language. This book is a must for men in relationships, women who want to better understand their male spouse or partner, partners who are in relationships in which one or both members are alpha and anyone who is intent on building a relationship that is alive, juicy, functional, companionable and comfortable. It’s high time for a book that helps men understand themselves better and address the specific issues they bring into relationships and for women who love them, especially an alpha man.
Looking for a book that explains men in relationships? Get your copy of Winning at Love today!
