Successful Relationship Characteristics
Successful relationship characteristics include the following:
- Both partners remember that they are volunteers; that is, no one is putting a gun to their head to be in the relationship. Each chooses to be in the relationship because they want the benefits of relationship.
- Both partners commit to an absence of malice. That means doing the absolute best to never use power plays against the other, including not leaving or threatening to leave, never lying or twisting the truth and never trying to extort, through shaming, guilt, or force something that the other does not have to give, or cannot give, or does not willingly give.
- Partners do not rage at one another.
- Partners commit to seeing each other in the best possible light. That means when there is misunderstanding, partners commit to assume innocence about the motivations of the other. Questions are asked before shooting, rather than the other way around.
- Couples commit to continuous connection; not continuous contact, but continuous connection, That means that when either partner in the relationship experiences a disconnect from the other, each partner agrees to attend to that as soon as is practical.
- Each partner respects their own and the other partner’s boundaries.
- When there is a misunderstanding, each partner speaks their truth in a way that takes responsibility for their own experience and in a way that respects the other partner’s experience.
- When there is a misunderstanding, partners ask questions of the other partner in a way that seeks understanding of the partner and the problem.
- Each partner knows how to soothe themselves when there are rough spots in the relationship. They soothe themselves rather than taking their distress out on others.
Winning at Love writes about these successful relationship characteristics, as well as variables that impede them. They brilliantly categorize relationship problems into four simple categories. They give easy-to-understand directions and suggestions for establishing relationships that contain these characteristics, because, let’s face it, being in that kind of relationship isn’t always easy! The book is entertaining and at times humorous. It’s suggestions for steps to build a successful relationship are written like a how-to-fix-your-lawnmower manual or like a recipe for successfully baking a cake. It is unique in that it also addresses the difference that men and women bring into relationships, not only in their different neurophysiological hard-wiring but in their socialization. This book also addresses problems unique to relationships in which one or both partners are alpha. What is an alpha?
Alpha designates “the first” and we first started designating this to the leaders of animal packs, such as wolves. Approximately 40% of all males and females are alphas. The alpha is usually the strongest and the bravest, the leader of the pack. They possess such attributes as dominance, confidence, and a take-charge attitude. The alpha has a high level of self-directedness, as they doggedly go about their goals. Alphas are usually aggressive, competitive high achievers, with a strong sense of mission and can be bold, creative innovative thinkers. Often highly successful in the world, the alpha’s traits of persistence, tenacity, determination and steadfastness help them to achieve their goals.
However, these very traits can contribute to marriage problems, or, can destroy a relationship. Even if eighty percent of what an alpha does is really good for the relationship, the twenty percent that he or she does out of their alpha attitude and behavior is enough to blow up the relationship.
Among other problems, this book addresses those alpha characteristics that don’t support successful relationships. It gives you what you need to understand and address the problems. With information, learning new skills and practice, practice, practice, you have learned to improve your golf game, or to fly-fish or market successfully. With this book, your relationship will be one that displays successful relationship characteristics! This book is a must for men wanting to be in a good relationship, women wanting to better understand their man, men and women who are in a relationship in which one or both partners are alpha, and any couple wanting to successfully address relationship problems.
Interested in learning more about successful relationship characteristics? Get your copy of Winning at Love today!
