Are you an alpha female? If so, this book is also for you. Alpha females possess the same traits as alpha males. Until recently however, society rewarded males for their alpha qualities while training females to suppress their alpha traits. We were taught to “act like a girl.” Sometimes we were ostracized, punished, or even abused for expressing our natural alpha tendencies.
While alpha females do less damage in the workplace than alpha males, at home, in the bedroom, we can often do as much damage as our alpha male counterpart. If we are partnered with a beta (who by the way, is often a good mate for an alpha female), we can be intimidating, and then belittling of our loyal, grounding beta mate for not taking us on in the ways that we respect in the alpha world. Partnerships between an alpha male and an alpha female might be named “The Fight Club”, at least until some of the skills outlined in Winning at Love are mastered.
On the other hand, you may be a beta in a marriage or intimate relationship with an alpha male or alpha female. Betas more naturally connect to others, are better team players, and more interested in people’s feelings and in bringing everyone along than they are in achievement. As a beta, you may possess a lot of strength but be unable to understand, much less deal with, your alpha partner. Marty referred to his wife Leslie as a “beta with a backbone of steel.” However, Leslie found it difficult to even imagine having the alpha capacity for survival-based malice that Marty had. You may feel intimidated, estranged from, overshadowed, and even controlled by your alpha partner. You may be challenged in knowing how to be an equal player with them. Their ardent striving for success in the world and their long hours working at this may be difficult to understand. Winning at Love helps you understand your alpha partner better, and gives you tips, tools and skills for strengthening your spine so that you can be fully in partnership with them. It also tells you how to know when you should leave a relationship with an alpha partner.
Beta males are trained early in our culture to act like alphas; in fact, survival as a male in western culture is almost always dependent on beta males being trained to appear alpha. This training is useful in the worlds of business, trade and profession. At the same time, there is a “this isn’t me” feeling that accompanies this training. Winning at Love provides a questionnaire that helps you determine whether you are an alpha or a beta. It may then be easier for you to determine when and where you use your alpha-acquired skills. Since betas usually have an easier time in relationships, you can know how to park your alpha façade at your doorstep and enjoy your natural beta nature in a loving relationship.
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