Couples Counseling
With over fifty percent of first marriages and over sixty percent of second marriages ending in divorce, it is not surprising that many couples turn to couples counseling. In some cases the book, Winning at Love can provide a substitute for couples counseling; if not a substitute, reading the book, Winning at Love can provide a baseline from which to begin counseling. It may save you time and money by giving you greater understanding of the nature of your relationship problems.
This book discusses problems encountered in intimate relationships. Among other problem descriptions, the authors brilliantly categorize types of relationship problems into four basic categories. It then lays out, step-by-step, ways for addressing these problems. It is entertaining and at times humorous. In addition to addressing commonly encountered problems, this book is unique in that it addresses the problems specific to relationships in which one or both partners are alpha. Often this perspective is not addressed in counseling. What is an alpha?
Alpha designates “the first” and we first started designating this to the leaders of animal packs, such as wolves. Approximately 40% of all males and females are alphas. The alpha is usually the strongest and the bravest, the leader of the pack. They possess such attributes as dominance, confidence, and a take-charge attitude. The alpha has a high level of self-directedness, as they doggedly go about their goals. Alphas are usually aggressive, competitive high achievers, with a strong sense of mission and can be bold, creative innovative thinkers. Often highly successful in the world, the alpha’s traits of persistence, tenacity, determination and steadfastness help them to achieve their goals.
However, when it comes to taking steps in a relationship that would make the relationship be more loving and healthy, the very traits that make alphas successful in the world can prevent a healthy relationship. Even if eighty percent of what an alpha does is really good for the relationship, the twenty percent that he or she does out of their alpha attitude and behavior is enough to blow up the relationship. They often put their profession or career ahead of their intimate relationship, they can expect of others the same high standards that they expect of themselves, they can impose their driven nature onto others and they can come across as critical and opinionated.
Alphas often don’t realize that part of rescuing their relationship has to do with addressing the problems particular to their being an alpha. If you are in a relationship in which one or both of you are alpha, understanding and bringing this perspective into couples counseling can give you an important leg up.
Winning at Love is also useful for any couple wanting to improve their relationship, and anyone who is not an alpha but is in an intimate relationship with an alpha.
Looking for an alternative or addition to couples counseling? Get your copy of Winning at Love today!
